From Cambodia to Hillsboro

Chom Sou of Wy’east will talk about the Khmer Rouge genocide, his family living in a concentration camp in Cambodia, then a refugee camp in Thailand, and now in America, where he was born and raised bi-culturally, and has had to deal with acculturation issues. Chom is committed to serving individuals and families with histories like his own.
 

Reading:

We must be like the ox, and have no thought, except for the Party. And have no love, but for the Angka. People starve, but we must not grow food. We must honor the comrade children, whose minds are not corrupted by the past.The wind whispers of fear and hate. The war has killed love. And those that confess to the Angka are punished, and no one dare ask where they go. Here, only the silent survive-Dith Pran

 

Talk:

Good Morning Everyone...!!! Arun Suo sdey.... for those of you that don’t now that’s good morning in khmer.  My name is Channbunmorl but many of you may know me as Chom for short. When I was asked to do this talk about 3 months ago (that’s how far ahead the worship committee planned things. just a little plug for all the hard work that people in the worship committe do) well when I was asked to do this talk about 3 months ago I was very excited and honor to tell my parent’s story about their struggle to come to  America.  The process of me collecting this story opened my eyes even more.  I initially thought I knew everything about my parent’s life in Cambodia because they use to tell me about it all the time.  “kom poh chauol ienge sdai, dung hey bpael ienge pbee tuol ienge pabuh roe bai yum nah”  hey don’t throw that away.  It’s a waste.  you know when I was younger I barely had any food to eat.” said my dad (pause for a second)....

 

I consistently heard the phrase of not wasting food through out my whole childhood.  And as a child I always understood what my parents were trying to say to me.  This caused me to be more socially aware as a young child.

 

 My dad is from a small province of Takeo in Cambodia.  He was born on April 6, 1942.  He had 5 brothers and 4 sisters and he was the second to the youngest of 9 siblings.  My dad grew up with barely any food to eat.  He was so poor that he didn’t even have rice to eat.  His diet consists mostly of banana, mangos and tamarind. “I remember being so poor that I ate dirt.  I would take the dirt from the ground and boil in a pot.” said my dad.  (PAUSE...)

 

 

My dad was 11 years when he first went to school.  He went to school from the age of 11-14 and had only went up a third grade.  Education was free for my dad and other kids in his village but he had no money to buy materials and clothes on his own.  Although it was free for students to learn, you had to be able to look proper before coming to school.  There was a man that was a Representative for the village where my dad lived in.  He was very sympathic towards my dad.  He wanted to take my dad to live with him and his family because he saw great potential in my dad.  But this mean my dad had to move far away from his family. My dad said “The Representative saw that I was smart, but I didn’t want to leave my family.  I was never hungry for that.”

 

 

My dad was an avid reader, he practiced reading and that helped him with his vocabulary. My dad never regretted his decision.  So he left school at the age of 14 to find work so he can help support his family.  He would do odd jobs here and there just to make ends meat (PAUSE......)

 

My mom’s life was quite different than that of my dad.  My mom never knew her parents because they died when she was around four years old.  My mom has one younger sister, she was about a year old at the time of their parents death.  They were taken in by her dad’s sister and her husband.  My mom’s aunt took advantage of my mom ever since she took her in.  She started to work at the age of 8. she was importing/exporting goods between Thailand and Cambodia.  She would travel on a industrial train by herself from Cambodia to the Thailand.  She would bring items such as salted fish, garlic and other types of food from thailand to cambodia.  My mom said, “My aunt and uncle would take all my earnings away to give to their own kids until I was 16 years old.” (PAUSE....)

 

In 1959, both of my parents coincidental moved to the Province of  Baw Pailin.  At the age of 16 my dad moved up there by himself to find work.  My mom and her aunt moved up there as well to find work.  Both of my mom and dad was working in a coffee manufacturing company, where they would make coffee.  It was not clear to me when they started dating.  But they married sometime in April of 1962, at that time my mom was 15 and my dad was 20.  As soon as my parents were married, my mom’s aunt and uncle still wanted to take money away from my mom’s earnings.  My dad stood up for my mom and refused to let this happen.  My mom’s aunt was so furious, that she disowned her. 

 

At the time, my dad was working in the factory and getting paid fairly well.  He made $1500 hundred dollars a month in khmer currency value.  At the time, 40 dollars of khmer dollars is equalivalent 1 us dollars.  My dad was making $37.50 a month and that was enough for them buy food and have enough to eat.  In 1963 my mom got pregnant with her first child.  It was a baby girl.  She was filled happiness and joy. (PAUSE...)

 

Unfortunately, she died after living for only 7 days.It was unclear to me how she died.  How interpreted from my parents was that that she had died from an inflamd esophagus. It hit parents pretty hard, but this was not an uncommon thing in Cambodia for a young child to die just after birth.  My parents were distraught.  In those times, it was all about survival.  My parents then gave birth to my oldest brother.  He was was born on September 10, 1965. They named him Sarath.  Three years later, in 1968, my mom gave birth to her third child.  It was a boy.  Then five years later, in 1973 she gave birth to a daughter, this was her 4th child. 

 

“ Your father had just given him a bath, and I saw that he had some dirt on his face, I decided to wash his face.  After I washed his face his whole body started to shiver.  I was holding him in my arms trying to make the shaking stop.  But it didn’t, he began to shiver profusely.  It was difficult for him to breathe and he was  gasping for air.  he began banging on his chest as I was holding him in my arms. (PAUSE...)

 

My mom’s third child died then 19 days later, just under 8 months, my parents 4th child died (PAUSE...)

 

During the 1970’s in Cambodia there was tenison between khmer people and the khmer government.  At the time, the person who had the power to make executive decisions was by a man name Prince Sihouk. In early 1970, the Khmer Rouge Regime attacked the government of Cambodia.  The was the beginning of a civil war between Khmer Rouge and the Cambodian Government   

 

The united states  was bombing Cambodia from 1969-1975 killing hundred of thousands of innocent Cambodians.  They got a tip from the south Vietnam saying that the viet cong was occupying parts of Cambodia, but they were none to be found. Only Cambodians died during the bombing done by the United States. 

 

On April 17, 1975 the War between the Khmer Rouge and the Cambodian government was over.  But this is was just the beginning of a nightmare that was going to lasted for almost 5 years.  20 days later the Khmer Rouge took total control of Cambodia.  During that time the population of Cambodia was 7 million people.  There were many people that were executed on the spot, teachers, merchants, doctors, lawyers, actors, and even if you wore glasses they would have killed you on the spot.  This was a sign of intelligence, they didn’twant people who were educated because they were afraid that those people would revolt and fight back.

 

 

They were telling citizens that the U.S. was going to bomb Cambodia again, so they ordered  people out of their homes to travel to a safer location.  But they never returned back home.  Some people would walked for months, they would walk for hundreds of miles on foot and thousands of people would die a long the way.

 

My mom, my dad and brother walked for a week to a campsite in the Southwest part of Cambodia.  Before they landed in a concentration camp, they were working at place that was building infrastructure for the khmer rouge military soldiers. Everyone that was working was deprived of food and there were limited resources. My dad would always tell me this story,

 

“Your cousin at the time was so hungry and he actually stole a tomato from the khmer rouge.  They caught him and was about to cut his head off.  I jumped in front of your cousin and said to the solider that the next time he steal another tomato you can cut my head off. They somehow listened to my me and didn’t cut your cousin’s head off, but my I was scared that he was going to steal something else, so I quickly took your mom and brother in search for a safer destination.  A long the way we would see dead bodies in the riverside.  We were desparate and thirsty.  We were really thirsty and I remember seeing dead carcuses along the river. We had to drink the water that was infested with dead bodies. This is something you just don’t forget.  I don’t know I just I don’t know.” (PAUSE..)

 

It was 1976 and they were in a concerntration camp.  They worked long hours.  My mom had given birth to her 5th child.  It was a boy, but unfortunately he passed away after only living for about a year. So far my mom had given birth to five kids and only one survived. (PAUSE...)

 

Killing fields poem.  

 

Now it was 1979 the Vietnamese invaded Cambodia and the killing stopped.  My parents and older brother (Sarath) went to a refugee camp in Thailand, in hopes of a safer environment.  It was definitely a safer environment than the concentration camp, and people were given food to eat.  But the Thai military treated the Khmer people like animals.  They couldn’t go outside of the camp. 

“I’ve saw plenty of people who would try to go outside of the camp but would get shot down while running away.  They didn’t treat us like we were humans.  We were constantly scared for our lives.” (PAUSE..)

 

My parents were there from 1979-1984.  During that time my mom gave birth to her 6th and 7th child.  My brother was born in 1979, he was born with cerebral palsy. and a year later she gave birth to my sister Mary.  In November of 1984 my parents had documents ready to go to America. Luthrerin Immigrant and Refugee Services sponsored my family.We landed in Portland,Oregon on November 16, 1984.  My mom was four months pregnant with me.  Five months later, on April 20, 1985 I was born.  IRCO (Immigrant Refugee Community of Oregon) helped my family with adjusting to living in America. 

 

According to Southeast Asia Resource Action Center there over 200,000 Cambodians living in the United States.  California, Washington, Massachusetts and Pennsylvania have the highest population of Cambodians. According to the Asian Pacic Islander American Health Forum, in 2006 Cambodians still had higher rates of povertry than of the national rates.  The national rate for families living in poverty was 9.8% and for Cambodians it was 17.6% (PAUSE...)

 

It was difficult for my family and other Cambodian families to transition into American culture.  It was so different, things here were so fast and the city was so noisy.  Like many other Cambodians, my mom had suffered from PTSD and that was difficult for her to find and maintain a job. This is and still is a problem in the Cambodian community.    

 

 

On may 17, 2002, my brother the one that had cerebral palsy passed away in our home from a seizure.  This was my mom’s fifth child that she had lost in her arms.  It was the first time I had ever saw someone die right in front of my eyes.  Out of 8 children in our my family only three have survived. 

 

Coming from an Immigrant family had it’s advantages and disadvantages.  Immigrants are bi cultural.  If you assimilate too much you will be likely to lose your cultural heritage.  But if you don’t assimilate enough, it will be difficult for you survive in this country.This was a problem for many Cambodians, trying to hold on to their cultural heritage while trying to be like everyone else. For example, I use to have this internal battle with being an  American and a Cambodian.  At home I was an American, my parents would constantly keep calling me an American kid and outside of the home I was Cambodian.  I can never be fully an American.  When people always make references to someone who is an American-they always think of them as being white.  Growing up I had internalized this hatered towards my own people.  I use to make fun of the people who came here who didn’t English that well because those people made Cambodian like me look bad. I would call them a FOB (Fresh off the Boat).

 

But then I use to make fun of or not accept Cambodian people who did not understand khmer languange.  I also would not accept them if they would just only hang out with white people because I associated that with them be shameful about their own heritage. I would call them white washed.  It was really hard to determined who were the real Cambodians or even looking it at from a bigger picture.  Who were the  quote unquote the real Asians.  As I am moving up into the professional world I will continue to have this internal battle with my identity.  How do I balance being Cambodian and an American at the same time? (PAUSE..)

 

How can I be proud poem. 
 

 

 

 

I was not the always the smartest or the most hard working kid in school.  But I knew that my parents had sacrifice so much for me to come to this country.  They had instill in me about the value of education and how important it was for me to take advantage of my opportunties in America. I worked ever since I was 12 years old and that made me and appreciate the value of hard work.  My sisters and I use to pick blueberrys, strawberrys, or raspberrys for money to buy school clothes.  I would help my parents work at their cleaning jobs as well.  My family was the one that shaped me to become who I am today.  Right now I want to take this opportunity to thank my family.  In my 25 year life existence this is the first time I ever said this to my family.

 

Speak in Khmer...

 

Mom dad thank so much for taking such good care of me and making sure that I never starve and that I always food in my stomach and clothes on my back.  You have inspired me and raised me to be a good person.  It was because of you that I learned to be compassionate towards other people.  Because of you, I am proud to be khmer and I want to speak khmer the best I can and pass this own to my kids and my kid’s kid.  As long as I am alive I will make sure that my kids will speak khmer and pass on our culture and tradition to them.  I love you so much...

 

Jey- Thank you I love so much.  You was always looked out for me and helped me out so much.  I think if it wasn’t for you I would have graduated from college and probably wouldn’t have this opportunity to go for my Masters. 

 

Bong Rath thank so much for being cool and funny big brother.  I really appreciate that you always took me to go play basketball.  You helped me become a great shooter.  It was  because of you I had a positive male role model and you shaped me to become a positve male role model for other camobdans and other youth in he community.  I love you. 

 

Tan you were only a year older than me.  I know we have gotten a long when we were younger, but as we got older, we became closer and closer as a family.  Thank you much for being there for me when I needed you.  you are awesome.  I love you.

 

Poem...

 

 

 

There are days when we say that we hate our life.  That we wished that it could be better.  You may think  that you have it bad but never realize that the next person may have it worse.  Although we have those bad days, we have learn to push through those bad days to get to the good days. I can never complain when it comes to my parents stories.  I appreciate the life that they gave me and.  We should also appreciate other individual gifts and talents so that it can motivate them to become the type of person that will make them happy.  It is easy to say this on paper but doing it is the most important thing. I want to be the first to take my own advice. 

 

Timmy-my nephew  I want to say that I appreciate that you are a great cook and that you are a talented and creative musician.  i think that someday your music will inspired people.  And I hope someday I can rap over your drum playing

 

koby I appreciate your ability to never give up.  You are very smart and bright.  I think you will be a great thinker and will be able to motivate and influence people in a positive way with your words. 

 

Orion you have an infectious laugh and I think that you will be a leader not a follower.